“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 21:25
I wish I could say that I feel like the woman in this verse, but more often that not I feel like a failure. I have made so many, many mistakes in my lifetime. Especially as a mom. Although I say I wouldn’t change anything in my past, I think I would change things that I know hurt my children. Directly or indirectly.
One memory comes to mind all the time…one that seems to demonstrate how inadequate I feel as a mom.
When my kids were young we lived in the same house as my parents, we had an apartment in the lower half of their home. The daycare that I took my son to (my daughter was in kindergarten) was across the street from where we lived. At Christmas time they had a little party for the kids and they told us to bring a small present for them. The dork that I was (and I still feel like a dork) thought that I was supposed to bring a present for my son only since he was the one that went to daycare there. Uh, no…
The second I realized that I was supposed to have one for my daughter too, I rushed home and basically destroyed my house trying to find something that she would enjoy. It was a little difficult to do since I didn’t have much and I was HYSTERICAL crying at the time. It was one of many, many times I felt like a loser and the worst mom, EVER.
I eventually found a little something, along with a box to put it in and yet twenty three years later and that memory still haunts me.
Why? Because my kids mean the world to me. Being someone that they can both love and respect is important to me…and yet, I keep tripping up. Still feeling like that dork. But now I have God. I have my ‘But God’ that can take my many mistakes and still make them work together for the good of, not just me, but my children as well. I would love to take credit for how well they turned out (loving and conscientious adults)- but it’s all God.
Friend, if you’re like me and you struggle for the things you were unable to do for your kids, if you made mistakes as a mom (single or not), if you still feel like your struggling…please know that you are not alone. I think we all feel like a loser or a dork of a mom at times, but know that God can take all our mistakes and make some awesome people out of our kids, despite all we’ve done.
We’re not meant to be perfect. Not perfect people and definitely not perfect moms. Let’s you and I hold onto what God is calling us to be.
Let us live our lives going forward with Strength (boldness and might!) and Dignity (honor, splendor, magnificence). Let us go into the future without fear but with a joyful heart.
I pray that this Mother’s Day will be one that you can recognize God’s hand in your life and that of your children.
I lift special prayers for those mama’s who have lost a child and for the mama’s in heart who have not yet been blessed with a child of their own. I pray that God will work mightily in your lives and give you strength and comfort.
In Jesus’ precious name.