‘It is he who remembered us in our low estate…’ Psalm 136:23
I have very few memories from when I was a little girl. Most of my memories began from the time my parents bought the house that my mother still lives in. The few memories I do have of my earlier years are ones where, even though I may have been around my family, I felt alone.
The one memory that really sticks out is when I had found a stray cat and put a leash on it. I just wanted something to love and for it to love me back. I was so upset when I was told I couldn’t keep it. It seems like that desire has been something that I have been struggling with most of my life. This is to be no reflection on my family and friends. I have no doubt that they love me. What I have realized over the past couple of years is that only God can fill that emptiness in me. He is the one that knows who I am, what my struggles are and my greatest fears…and He still calls me His.
In reflection of my most difficult day, this portion of Psalm 136 screams Truth to me. On my darkest day I cried out to Him and He answered me. He remembered me. He didn’t tell me that all would be OK. He didn’t tell me that the pain would end soon. No. What He did tell me was that He was with me. “I am here.’
“I am here.”
I wasn’t alone. And I was known by God.
Psalm 136 is a hymn in which the Israelites remember that God is good and of all that He has done. It starts with ‘Give thanks to the Lord for he is good’ and that ‘He is the God of gods.’ It reminds His people that it is He that created the heavens and the earth. It is He that repeatedly saved them, from their enemies and from themselves.
“It is He who remembered us in our low estate…”
He knows the worst of us and yet He remembers us. Despite us continually living life our own way, which by the way tends to be against Him. A line I read in A.W. Tozer’s book Knowledge of the Holy describes this well; ‘Sin has many manifestations, but its essence is one. A moral being, created to worship before the throne of God, sits on the throne of his own selfhood and from that elevated position declares, “I AM.” That is sin in its concentrated essence; yet because it is natural it appears to be good. It is only when in the gospel the soul is brought before the face of the Most Holy One without the protective shield of ignorance that the frightful moral incongruity is brought home to the conscience.’ (pg 25) This is who we really are. We want, what we want, when we want it. Despite what the Holy Spirit may be telling us.
What can we do? We need to seek God’s will first in our life. This is not something that is natural for us. We (me at least) tend to go by our feelings. We forget that the Bible tells us that our heart is; “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9, “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” Matthew 15:19. These scriptures show that we cannot trust our hearts. We need to trust Him. We need to seek him.
The sermon at my church recently discussed how Jesus always took time for Solitude and Silence. He took time to be alone in which he would be in prayer with Father God. He was seeking His Father’s will. Just as we should be doing. Many take time to find time to be in silence and to meditate but that time of Solitude and Silence is nothing if we are not seeking the One who has all the answers. He may not spell what is coming down the road in our life, like we like, but we can know through His Word and remembering in our lives and the lives of others all that He has done…all the promises that He has kept since the beginning of time. Our God is FAITHFUL. He is a good God. He is the ONLY living God.
While I may struggle at times of feeling lonely, I am no longer that little girl looking for someone to love me. I have learned these past several years to seek His face much more quickly. I have learned to trust Him and that He truly has plans for good for me (Jeremiah 29:11).
We serve an AWESOME God, turn to Him. Seek His will in your life. He won’t disappoint you.