faith

For Better or For Worse

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14

My husband and I are married just six years this year. And although we usually do something nice for our anniversary, that didn’t happen this year. Why, you ask? Tempers. As much as we love eachother, we can seriously aggrevate eachother too. I have no doubt that’s one of the reasons the phrase, “For better or for worse” is used in traditional wedding vows.

The problem is, marriages are work. They aren’t ‘peaches and cream’ all the time. In fact, there will be whole time periods that seem to be more work than pleasure. I think that is one explanation that so many people give up so quickly after getting married. They want a relationship as long as things are going well. When things get tough and tempers get going…they don’t want to deal with that.

But THAT my friend is what marriage is about. It’s about being with someone that knows ALL about you. They know the good, the bad and yes-even the ugly parts of who you are and who you were. And they still love you.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that I could love someone through all that. I didn’t know that despite hard times and harsh words that we would still be together. And not just together…I truly love him more now than I did the day I married him. I can’t tell you how humbling it is that he still loves me too. Through all my messy issues. Through my mood swings (thank you menopause 😡) and freezing him out overnight (haha!).

One thing I think that has helped us along the way is that I’m more traditional in my thinking about marriage. I believe that the husband is the head of the household, regardless of who makes how much. Regardless if what I think differs than what he thinks. Do I trip up? LOL, heck yeah! I’m a forty-something year old who grew up in the North East of the US….and I can be seriously selfish at times.

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.’ 1 Corinthians 11:3

I know that not too many people nowadays would agree with this scripture. To me, this scripture ensures that our husbands get the respect as head of the household that they deserve. I’ve seen all too often the man being belittled and disrespected in his home. Then you bring kids into the picture…they see how the mother and father (regardless if birth parent or step-parent) treat eachother. That is how they will treat that person too.

I’ll make another statement here too. Your spouse comes before your kids. Now, I’m not saying that you ignore your kids or you cut them off if their adults, but you put the well-being of your husband and your marriage at the forefront. It’s not always easy to do. I KNOW that. I was a single mom for a lot of years before my honey and I married. There are periods of adjustments. But PLEASE be sure that your kids show your spouse RESPECT!

I think it is important to have high regard for what your spouse thinks on matters. Right from the beginning of our marriage, if I wanted to do something I would run it my honey FIRST. And not so much as to ask permission but my priority is to make him happy. He loves me and he works hard. He deserves that. The only time I really pushed for him to say OK on something is when I wanted to get our 2nd dog (Butch). I never before or after pushed for something like that. Otherwise he’s usually pretty easy going. And because of that, if he says ‘no’ to something or that he would rather I didn’t do something-I’d respect that.

FB061920-B8E9-431D-AB02-F9FA9A0CB853.jpeg
Butchy boy taking up space on our bed…as usual. 

I couldn’t be this person without God’s help. It is because of His love for me that I can love my honey as much as I do. I am human, I am a sinner. Without God’s unending Grace and Mercy I wouldn’t have half the love for my honey that I do. Lean on Him my friends and He’ll change YOUR heart too!

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.’ Psalm 51:10

I pray that God strengthens your marriages and relationships. Let Him guide you.

With lots of love and in Jesus’ name,

Tara

 

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