“I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.” Psalm 16:8
The last several days have been very busy, exhausting if I’m going to be completely honest. Between work, Bible study, issues with my car…then Saturday, after working the food pantry at my old church, I went down to my mom’s house with my kids to help my niece paint. She is, thankfully, moving into the upper half of my childhood home. She already does quite a bit to assist my mom who is 82 and lives in the lower half of the house. -My parents had made the apartment when I was pregnant with my son and due to health issues she is unable to climb the stairs into the main (upper) half of the house.
Afterwards my kids and I stopped to see my dad’s grave. Graveyards are not my favorite place, as I’m sure most people feel as well. I feel the loss of the person so much more when I’m there looking at their gravestone than I do at other times. Maybe it’s seeing their name written in stone. Stone that doesn’t allow you to erase that sorrow, that loss. It makes it seem so permanent. It was while I was there that I realized that it would be three years today that my dad passed.
It was such a surreal time. We knew for months that he was deteriorating health wise. He had Parkinson’s for about 10 years and liked to do things his way rather than what would benefit his health. Thankfully my mom was a wizard with his meds and had them down to a science. Unfortunately, every time he had to stay in the hospital they would completely (and utterly) mess them up. At times it was a nightmare. That was what the last seven months of his life was like.
It started out with him breaking his leg while out smoking, in shorts, on the coldest night of the year…without his walker. Thankfully, the woman upstairs heard him call out (it was in the very early hours of the morning). That broken leg was the beginning of the end. It was a little before Thanksgiving and by Christmas he was in and out of the hospital and nursing home (for rehab) several times. One of the positive things I can say about the situation is how well my family comes together. We all, very willingly, scheduled time so someone was with him every morning and every evening.
That last phone call in June of 2014 saying to get to the hospital…oh my gosh, that was hard. And having to call my daughter to have her come along too-I worried about her getting to the hospital safely-from our home it was about an hour away. Our God is so good though and allowed me to have a moment to speak with my dad before he went unconscious…and to hear him say ‘I love you’ one last time. Once I realized that he wasn’t going to make it I began to make an effort to get hold of my son, who was on deployment at the time. I have to say, the Red Cross, was so helpful and so caring. Several hours later, my son called from his ship in the middle of an ocean far away. My parents helped raise both my kids and it was important for me to be able to hear his voice in that time of sorrow.
As difficult as it was saying my last goodbye to my dad I knew, and I know, that I will see him again. As I said goodbye, I reminded him of the glory he would soon be witness to. As much as I enjoy my life and those I love, I was a bit jealous of that.
In service yesterday morning, pastor was speaking on Acts chapter 2, I was reminded that we have so much to be thankful for, to praise God for. One of the things that the pastor said was ‘judgement and salvation always come together.’ We may have ‘weeping and mourning’ (Joel 2:12) to start when there is trials but God is always there with the blessings of salvation, with hope. One of the many blessings we get for giving our lives to Jesus is that we no longer go through God’s judgement. There is no worry of being sent where there is ‘weeping and gnashing of teeth’ because all of our sins were placed on Jesus’ shoulders.
Jesus not only took on all that judgement on Himself for us but He sent the Holy Spirit to be with us as well. The Holy Spirit, allowing us to have an awesome, personal and intimate relationship with God. To guide us in our daily lives. As the scripture above states that the Lord is always with us….reminding us we need to spend time with Him daily and He will not let us be shaken.
I am thankful today that although we can be very faulty people at times, we have a God who loves us, who has forgiven us for all of our sins. I am thankful that I know my dad believed in and loved God and I will see Him again in eternity.
I pray that you know how much God loves YOU. If you haven’t given your life to Him yet, please come and do so. You won’t regret it.
Lots of Love and in Jesus’ precious name.